Some days it seems like too much of my life is intangible. I work online, I play largely online, most of my familial communication is online. Don’t get me wrong, it’s great that I can fix things millions of miles away from my desk; I enjoy getting to play games with people from around the world; it’s wonderful that it is so easy to keep up with my family half way across the country. Some days I miss the physical, though. So much of what I do is abstract; at work for instance, I know that these people out there somewhere are unable to help their patients. I know this because this box on my tool went from green to red. So I push a couple of buttons and the box turns green again and the people are happy. On the one hand, I know that I just helped sick people get the medications they need. On the other, I’ve not seen or interacted with any of the people involved. No matter how much the person on the phone tells me how much good I’ve done, I’ve not experienced any of it. Too much of my life feels that way.
I’ve been craving the physical experiences a lot lately. Maybe it’s cabin fever, but I don’t get out a lot to start with so it’s not likely. I feel like unplugging for a while, but I know I won’t. Classes start up again this week, so that will be something, but I don’t think it’s really what I’m looking for. I’m interviewing for a new job right now. I like what I do, but opportunities are getting slim here because the company is leaving my state, so it’s time to keep my eyes open for new opportunities. I’ve probably got another year to two years before my job actually goes away, but I’ve got nothing to strive for in the meantime. To quote my boss, I’ll “run to a good job, but don’t run from this one.” One of the perks of the job I’m looking at is that it is a lot of on-site support, so I’ll be getting hands on with issues and actually interacting with many of the people I help. Maybe that will help. If so, it’s still a ways off, though. Fingers crossed.